A Sudden Change
I just ended a 6-year friendship tonight. I'm not sure how I feel.
It was with the mutual friend, I'll call "Teri," who had introduced me to "Crooked Straight" (CS) friend, about 4 years ago. Things with Teri hadn't been the same since I met CS. Honestly, I initially had a better friendship with CS, than I did with Teri. We had more fun, and got along better. Of course, everything changed with CS...
As for Teri, well, last year was difficult for me. My dad's death was hard, and this past year, having all those "first" anniversaries was difficult. I haven't been as available... and honestly, I didn't like CS having any access to what was going on in my life. CS was toxic, and I needed to get away from her. I admit, I put some distance between me and Teri. We changed - we grew apart - we had less in common.
Today was Teri's birthday. I emailed her to wish her a happy birthday. She sent me a contentious email back. She's right - I can't be the friend she needs. But she's also wrong - I'm not a bad person. I just changed. My priorities have shifted. It was more important to me that I emotionally support my mother and family this past year, and less my friends. I don't think I made the wrong decision. It's okay if she does.
Still, it's hard to end a friendship. It's sad. But somehow, I also feel relieved that I don't need to pretend anymore.
And so, life goes on.
2 comments:
Awww, sorry to hear about that.
As you said, sometimes the amount of time and attention we can pay to our friends changes because life happens. But, maybe when some time passes you'll find your way back to each other again.
Take care, Kai!
I can't believe she said that, family comes first and specially on those circumstances, she should had been the one being the friend YOU needed. Sorry but i'm very oppinionated on this subject, because I know what is like to lose a parent...so I think you did the right thing, but you already knew that ;)
BESOS!
P.S. It is hard to end a friendship though.
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